Because I love jerks
by WorldlyGate
Summary: Everyone accuses Ed of loving Roy. Which he does XD. Categorized as 'romance' but hardly any romance in it. I promise it's pretty funny. Heh. Please review XD! RoyEd chp.6 up
1. Chapter 1

**Because I love jerks  
**

Chapter 1

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Everyone had teased him about his height. Edward of course, would yell back. The one who had annoyed him most though was…

Roy Mustang, Lt. Colonel. Roy Mustang wants to become Fuhrer for all the female Military personnel to wear mini skirts. He teases Ed and gives him sarcastic remarks, and of course, teases him about his height.

"You IDIOT!"

Someone had yelled so loud, the whole military could hear.

"What?" said Roy Mustang, Lt. Colonel.

"How dare you tease me about my height! **AGAIN**!"

"You shouldn't take it that seriously, Fullmetal. You should be quite used to it."

_Idiot. _Ed had said. Over. And Over. In his head he had thought of Mustang as an idiot, which of course, he sorta was.

"I hate you" Ed had said.

"Of course you don't mean that. You practically act like you _love _me" Said Roy, with a smirk.

"_WHAT?_" said Ed. _What did he just say?_"

"I said, you act like you have some sort of _crush _on me. I CAN understand though. Who doesn't?"

"….YOU!" Ed was furious. He hated him for saying that. No, he hated him even _more_ for saying that, how would Ed have a crush on him?

"Now…Are you leaving now? I'm sorry. I can't have a relationship with another man."

Ed blushed.

"What? I didn't even think about that!" Ed yelled. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

"The guy you seem to act like you have a crush on" Roy said, as he read his report.

"….GRRR" Ed ran off.

_Sigh. Seriously Fullmetal. Everyone can tell that. _Roy said to himself.

Ed ran out of Col. Mustang's office. Furious. Even more than he was before getting into his office. _That JERK! That JERK! HOW COULD HE ACCUSE ME OF LIKING-!_ Ed was thinking until he was stopped. He was stopped after seeing the sight of his brother, Alphonse.

Alphonse Elric was Edward Elric's brother. Obviously, you already know that.

"Nii-san?"

"Al! You won't _believe_ what Col. Mustang thought! He's such an idiot, a jerk, and I love him!" Ed said. Of course, not knowing his words.

Alphonse was shocked.

"E-Excuse me..? Nii-san?" Al was shocked. He hadn't known this fact about his brother. In fact, Alphonse thought Edward _hated_ Col. Mustang more than anyone in the world.

"What? Al? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?"

"I never knew…nii-san…"

"Knew what?"

"Nii-san…we ARE talking about the same Col. Mustang right?"

"Yeah. Of course. Who else? You're so weird, Al." Ed laughed. "Who else is an idiot like him?"

Yeah. _I'm weird. _ Thought Al.

"Nii-san…I..understand. So you like Col. Mustang?"

"WHAT! WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT NOW! SO EVEN YOU THINK THAT!" Ed was now mad at Al. He couldn't believe it.

"But-! Nii-san! You clearly-!"

"…I can't…ugh." Ed ran off again.

"But..nii-san..you said it yourself.." Al had said to himself._ "And I love him."_

_It's what YOU said. Not me. _Alphonse said.

_Why? Why does Al even think I like that..that idiot! Why does everyone think I could like someone as idiotic as HIM? Why HIM? I can't believe it! _Edward thought as he ran.

"Fullmetal?" Said…

"Col. Mustang" Ed said in an annoyed voice "What the hell"

They just stood there. Staring at one another.

To be continued.

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**Worldlygate:** **YAY Roy/Ed ...**

**Ed: Freak...**

**Worldlygate: I know I am... smile**

**Ed: And she agrees too...**

**WorldlyGate:**** ...even though the fanfic isn't great..I just wanted to write a fic on Roy and Ed. Okay...see  
ya.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Edward…bumped into Col. Mustang in the hallway. All they said…

"Full…metal?"

"…Col. Mustang?"

They stared at each other. They stared for quite a while too. They looked…and stared.

Fullmetal and the Col. What a couple, huh? They stared at each other, for a long time. Until one spoke up.

"Just so YOU know…I don't like you" said Ed. "And….everyone has suspicions about us…and.."

"Ha. How cute Fullmetal." Roy smiling. "I think it's cute you're embarrassed"

Ed blushed furiously.

"WHAT! Cute's an insult to me! Don't call me cute!"

"Why would it be an insult?"

"I'm a man! You should know!" yelled Ed.

"Cute.Cute.Cute.Cute.Cute." smirked Roy.

"You suck." Ed said madly. "I hate you even more"

"Now. I'll replace hate with love I suppose?" Roy gave another smirk "It's because you love me that you're embarrassed, right?"

The hall became silent. Too silent.

"…..whatever" Quietly…Ed walked away.

"Hey." Roy said to Ed. "Do you think…maybe"

Ed's eyes widened. He imagined the thought of Mustang asking him to go out…

"Maybe…I mean…you don't HAVE to…but you know…I'd be …"

Ed blushed.

"Ok. I will." Ed said seriously. "But don't tell anyone.

Roy blinked.

"Why would anyone care if you were to clean my office?"

"WHAT!" Ed was mad. He imagined a quite different question.

"Thanks for volunteering though. I appreciate it. I'm off now. See ya"

That….JERK! The way he gives his sarcastic remarks…I hate that..that SMIRK!…I can't believe I'm in love with him!

Ed was shocked this time. He finally had heard it. His comment.

_In…love with Mustang?_

_I can't believe it! I, Edward Elric, say that I'm in love with that moron, Mustang! I can hardly believe it! I can DO better! Why…? Why am I in love with him? I hardly find him attractive…I don't find him 'cute'…I don't find anything that's GREAT about that DAMN Mustang! I hate him! Why do I finally find myself…shudder in…LOVE with him! Why does this always happen to me…why do…why…WHY DO I LOVE THAT STUPID MORONIC COL. MUSTANG!_

Edward thought this as Mustang walked away. As he stared at Mustang from behind. He really found nothing interesting about him at all.

Unless… 

Ed's attracted to idiotic people like Mustang.

**_To be continued._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Edward stood there…just looking at the hallway, looking at the same place Col. Mustang was standing. Other Military personnel passed by as well, of course. When they noticed Edward just standing there, staring at air, they got freaked out, and walked away saying "Okay, Crazy." Edward didn't seem to notice this AT ALL. He was still standing there, staring at air.

"I can't believe it." Edward said.

_I said it **myself**, so I can't blame Al for it. And…Maybe Mustang WAS right…GRRR I can't believe this! That bastard!_

Edward walked home that day, he was sort of hiding, well, maybe he WAS hiding. He just doesn't want to admit it.

_I have to make sure I do not bump into Col. Mustang…he may say something again…_

Edward quietly walked through the halls. Hoping Mustang would not appear.

And you know what idiotic Edward did?

He walked somewhere he shouldn't have…it would ruin his plain completely…

Yes. He walked straight into Mustang's office. The airhead.

_WHAT? … Why am I HERE! Here...of ALL PLACES! Did I just…sort of come here…without even thinking?_

"What is it now, Fullmetal?" said Roy Mustang.

Blushing, Edward replied.

"….I don't know" Edward replied in a slow, soft voice.

"You don't know?" Roy questioned.

"Yeah. That's right. I don't know"

"How come?" Roy said. "Did you just come here, without thinking?"

Ed was shocked. How could he possibly know that? He started to think that maybe Mustang, maybe Mustang was meant for him!

"Before you get any thoughts…"

"WHAT?" Edward yelled, angrily.

"Many people come to places without thinking, it just means that they seem to just go to that place. They feel comfortable there. And it's where they spend most of the day."

Ed blushed even more.

"Why are you blushing, Fullmetal?"

_Because I'm upset that you're such an asshole! Why…Why do I have to like YOU?_

"Fullmetal, would you like to go out sometime?"

Ed couldn't take any more. He was really embarrassed this time. He did not know how to react.

" WHAT! WHY DO I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!"

"Why must you always jump to your weird thoughts? It doesn't have to be in that sort of way." Roy explained. "It could also be a friendship thing. Duh."

_…What if I don't want it to be just a 'friendship thing?' Explain that. Smart aleck._

"Whatever you want."

_I don't know what I want. It's sort of halfway to me… I DON'T want to go out with you, but when I think about it, I DO want to go out with you…I don't know what I SHOULD do…_

Roy smiled.

Ed blushed at the sight of his smile.

Do me a favor. DON'T smile.

"…Don't smile.." Ed looked back "It's kinda weirds me out."

"Why should it? Are you embarrassed?" Roy smirked. "I've noticed you've been blushing a lot lately."

"So…?"

"It's a possibility that you DO like me, Fullmetal"

"…well I don't."

"So…"

"Tomorrow, then?"

Roy blinked.

"WHAT!" Ed yelled.

"No, I was just shocked. I didn't think you WOULD agree."

_Well I did! So quit looking at me and just go on with your work, or send me on a mission or…do SOMETHING so I wouldn't have to see you!_

"Fine then. Tommorow it is."

And with that… Ed left, and Roy continued on working.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

I can't believe this…I'm actually...going out on a date with Col. Mustang! I hate myself for doing so…but I wanted to go out with him…! Wait…Am I saying this?

Edward hated himself for agreeing to go out with Mustang. And today was the day.

"I still can't believe I'm doing this..." Ed mumbled to himself.

Edward walked in to Roy's office.

"Hey..." Edward said shyly.

"Why hello, Fullmetal." Roy smiled.

Of course, Edward blushed.

"D-DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SMILE!" Edward yelled.

"Of course you did." Roy continued "but that doesn't mean I have to follow that"

"Whatever." Edward sighed. "I'm sick and tired of this."

"And you still want to go out?" Roy questioned.

"Kind of…"

The room became silent.

"What?" Roy said.

"Yeah. I still want to go out with you. IS THAT A PROBLEM!"

"Don't be so aggressive. I was just shocked."

_I'm just kind of embarrassed that I'm going out with you! The…IDIOT COLONEL!_

"Fullmetal, I also notice that you space out at times." Said Roy.

"…No I don't. And I DON'T talk to myself!"

"I never even mentioned that." Roy sighed. "Forget it."

"So…where to?" Ed asked.

"I don't know."

"Well…you asked me out…so it's your choice."

"Well, going to the movies is way cliché, going to the park is for boring people…"

"How about…" Ed thought. "Want to show me around Central?"

"Central?" Roy continued. " CENTRAL!"

Ed blushed.

"I-It was just a suggestion…" he looked real innocent._ Too innocent._ Adorable…

Roy sighed. "Okay" he smiled again.

Ed turned bright red. "Q-Quit it!"

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**Worldlygate: Definitely a make up chapter >. **

**Edward: ...I'm still not okay with your idea of this...little..."Date" thing.**

**Worldly: You know you like him! > **

**Edward: _Riiiiight...sarcastic_**

**Worldlygate: Ummm..please wait for the next chapter >. **


	5. Chapter 5

"And this here is…" Roy was pointing out all the things in Central to Ed.

Ed yawned. "…We've been through this place already."

"Oh." Roy blinked.

"Eheh…" Ed had a sweat drop on his face. "It's okay…"

"Is there anything we _haven't_ seen yet?" Roy asked.

Ed took a quick glance around him. "No"

It was quite a boring trip to go walking all over Central. Edward really wanted to go somewhere else…but…it was…_his_ idea.

"I told you we shouldn't have come here." Roy said.

Ed started to look sad. "I'm sorry"

Roy looked at Ed and blushed. "It's okay…"

"HAHA!" Ed laughed. "Good. I don't care, anyway"

"Oh shut up…"

The scenery was pleasant, Ed was smiling, and Roy was annoyed.

"Heh" Ed smirked. "Stupid Colonel."

Ed folded his arms across his chest and looked up at Roy.

"Don't you go out with tons of girls?" Ed asked.

"erm-…" Roy continued. "That's…way different"

"Is it now?" Ed smiled.

"Y-yeah" he blushed. "It is."

Ed frowned. "Why is it so _different?_"

"Well," Roy said. "A girl's a girl…"

"And…?" Ed questioned.

"You can please them in a different way.""

Ed was silent and blushed. "Ex-Excuse me?"

"No" Roy smirked. "Not like that, my little Fullmetal"

Ed blushed. "Erm-…"

They hadn't noticed, but they weren't the only Military personnel there. In the same location as them, spying on them, were Havoc, Fury, Breda, and Farman.

"Guys, should we really be spying on them?" asked Fury.

"Of course," said Havoc. "This is my way of getting back at the Colonel."

"Definitely." Agreed Breda.

"Right." Said Farman.

Obviously, they weren't the best hiders in the _world_, but they did do a pretty good job at hiding.

"Colonel" said Edward. "I want to go there!"

_He has to take me **somewhere** or else this would be a waste of time…_

_Well…! I know he's taken me to **Central**…but…what else **is**__there to do here! Play hide and seek!_

With that thought in mind, Edward slowly turned around to find Havoc, Breda, Farman, and Fury.

A sweat drop rolled on their heads.

Ed tugged at Roy's coat. "Company, Colonel."

Roy glanced to behind Edward and saw 4 bushes hiding 4 people. Who were easy to notice, by the way.

"What is the meaning of this?" Roy questioned them.

"Umm…" they all said.

"I'm listening." Roy said.

Ed saw the terror in their eyes, but he also saw his watch. It was getting late.

"Come on Colonel" Ed grabbed Roy's arm. "Let's go. It's getting real late."

With a pull of Roy's arm, they went somewhere else.

They all sighed.

_To be continued._

Worldlygate: …TT no ideas…

Twilightknight: Ha! You stink

Worldlygate: Shush.


	6. Chapter 6

"Edward!" Yelled Roy. "Why did you do that!"

"Because I did." Replied Ed. "You're supposed to be with _me_ not with them."

"Is that so…?" Roy sighed. "I could have had some fun back there."

_But no…you had to pull me away. _Thought Roy.

"Hmm…Roy." Ed looked up at him. "It's getting real late."

It's been a boring day, anyway… 

They both stayed silent.

"Want to stay over?" asked Roy.

_Say no. Please._ Roy thought to himself.

"…STAY OVER!" Said a shocked Ed. "You-You're going to rape me!"

Ed looked away in terror.

"Excuse me?" Roy looked real annoyed. "I wasn't even thinking of that."

"Then you were just…"

"I was just asking." Roy sighed. "Not like I wanted you to stay over anyway."

"Where do you live, anyway?"

"I'm not telling you." Sighed Roy.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Aww…"

Edward blushed. Had he always been this open with the Colonel?

_Gah..! Dammit. Why am I acting all…weird! As if I **wanted** to stay with him…_

"I'll be going back with Alphonse." Replied Ed, still red.

"Are you sure?" asked Roy.

"Positive." Ed replied. "We'll go find a place"

Roy felt bad. _Real_ bad. He couldn't just let Edward and Alphonse go somewhere where they would have to pay to stay the night. Or worse, they would have to sleep on the street.

Roy looked at Ed and sighed.

"You can come over." He told Ed. "You can bring Alphonse too."

Ed looked up at Roy smiling brightly.

"REALLY!" you could see the happiness in Ed's eyes.

Ed blushed again. "I mean--…er-…"

"It's okay." Roy smiled.

"STOP IT!" Ed blushed and closed his eyes.

Alphonse ran in at this point.

"Nii-san!"

"Al!" Ed replied. "How are you?"

Alphonse looked at Ed and Roy.

"Are you two on a date?" he asked.

"A da-…erm--…I wouldn't…call it…that…" Ed looked down.

"It's just something out of friendship, Alphonse." Roy replied.

Edward didn't want it to be friendship. He wanted something _more…_

"Nii-san?"

Ed stayed silent.

"Roy…" Ed continued. "You can forget me staying over…"

"Huh?" Al was confused.

"What do you mean?" asked Roy.

"I-I can get by on my own." Ed said a little sad. "Al can go with you…"

"What happened?" asked Al.

"Is something wrong, Fullmetal?"

"No." Ed replied. "I'm fine, just fine."

"It doesn't seem like that." Roy said.

"Really," Ed said. "I'm okay. I swear."

Roy and Alphonse stayed silent.

"Just…" Ed continued.

Why does it have to be this way? Why am I so weak? Why am I…so weak for him? 

"Fullmetal…" said Roy, confused. "I really don't get what you're upset about."

_Friendship…just something out of friendship…Why can't you understand?_

"I'm leaving." Said Ed.

I thought…I thought… 

Edward ran away. He didn't want to be with Colonel Mustang…

It was just something out of friendship…maybe even out of spite.

Was it?

_I thought you actually understood me._

_I can see…_

_I know now…_

_You never did._

To be continued.

Worldlygate: Poor Ed. Being rejected sucks.

Edward: Does it?

Worldlygate: Maybe you aren't rejected. Things could get better.

Edward: …

Worldlygate: Heh heh heh. huge grin


End file.
